Girls at SIUE East St. Louis Charter High School Take Time Out to Love Themselves
February 13, 2015, 4:36 PM
Several young women from Southern Illinois University Edwardsville East St. Louis Charter High School (CHS) received words of affirmation and pointers on dating, self-love and self-respect at a Friday Valentine’s Luncheon.
“If a man says he loves you, then he will treat you like a queen,” said Dr. Kareem Mateen, keynote speaker at the “Loving Ourselves and the Skin We Are In” CHS luncheon.
Mateen is the Family and Student Support Services Director at East St. Louis School District #189. He holds a bachelor’s in education from SIUE, a master’s in school and professional counseling from Lindenwood University and a doctorate in counseling psychology from Walden University.
“Before you try and give yourself to anyone, take time to love yourself,” he said to the 25 young women at the luncheon
Many women don’t have a functional relationship with themselves, Mateen said before the luncheon. “Some black women, because they often find themselves in conflict, beat up on themselves,” he continued. “Some of the negative attitude is a defense mechanism. A lot of women are wounded and haven’t taken time to heal themselves.”
Mateen said he understands first hand, because his mom was a teenage mother. “She hadn’t fully developed herself, and then she had to take care of a child. If I haven’t learned how to love myself, how can I love anyone effectively?
“You have to find the peace within yourself,” Mateen said, which he said his mother eventually did.
Mateen warned the group of young women on how destructive forces in society will try to present negatives images of them. “But that’s not you. You come from queens and great people.”
“Some men and some people will try to break you down, but don’t let them,” he added. Mateen told the students that he has been married for 17 years and still treats his wife like a queen. He has one son and several goddaughters.
“A weak person wants to tear you down to get the upper hand,” Mateen said. “Get away from them. Be around those who will build you up. You are beautiful. You are important. You are our future.”
“I liked how he told us we were beautiful and shouldn’t let any man treat us in a disrespectful manner,” said senior Darrielle Perry, after the luncheon.
“He made me think about a lot of stuff,” said sophomore Vandreeka Johnson, “but mainly to be happy with ourselves.”
“I liked the part when he said we shouldn’t send our pictures to our boyfriends, because they could expose us,” said junior Ajane’ Muhammad. “I also liked when he said if a boy disrespects his mother and grandmother, he will disrespect you.”
Also giving the young students words of inspiration and wisdom was CHS Director Gina Washington: “I hope you all feel cared about and valued as a young woman. I don’t care what you’ve been called. Don’t carry it in your spirit. Don’t let anyone define who you are.”
Then the CHS director asked the young women to call out positive adjectives that defined them.
“Hold your head up and say it loud!” Washington instructed the students. Some of the words that rang out: “Beautiful – Intelligent – Awesome.”
Kim Allen, CHS faculty associate, directed the luncheon, which was introduced in 2012. Renee Fussell, SIUE instructor in the Department of Applied Communication Studies, was the first speaker.
Photos:
A group of girls were treated to love, encouragement and lunch. Shown from front to back: De’Kaja Duff, Eyvonne Miller and Desar’a Whitely.
Senior Darrielle Perry receives a rose from luncheon speaker, Dr. Kareem Mateen.
From left to right: CHS Director Gina Washington, Dr. Kareem Mateen and CHS Faculty Associate Kim Allen.
“If a man says he loves you, then he will treat you like a queen,” said Dr. Kareem Mateen, keynote speaker at the “Loving Ourselves and the Skin We Are In” CHS luncheon.
Mateen is the Family and Student Support Services Director at East St. Louis School District #189. He holds a bachelor’s in education from SIUE, a master’s in school and professional counseling from Lindenwood University and a doctorate in counseling psychology from Walden University.
“Before you try and give yourself to anyone, take time to love yourself,” he said to the 25 young women at the luncheon
Many women don’t have a functional relationship with themselves, Mateen said before the luncheon. “Some black women, because they often find themselves in conflict, beat up on themselves,” he continued. “Some of the negative attitude is a defense mechanism. A lot of women are wounded and haven’t taken time to heal themselves.”
Mateen said he understands first hand, because his mom was a teenage mother. “She hadn’t fully developed herself, and then she had to take care of a child. If I haven’t learned how to love myself, how can I love anyone effectively?
“You have to find the peace within yourself,” Mateen said, which he said his mother eventually did.
Mateen warned the group of young women on how destructive forces in society will try to present negatives images of them. “But that’s not you. You come from queens and great people.”
“Some men and some people will try to break you down, but don’t let them,” he added. Mateen told the students that he has been married for 17 years and still treats his wife like a queen. He has one son and several goddaughters.
“A weak person wants to tear you down to get the upper hand,” Mateen said. “Get away from them. Be around those who will build you up. You are beautiful. You are important. You are our future.”
“I liked how he told us we were beautiful and shouldn’t let any man treat us in a disrespectful manner,” said senior Darrielle Perry, after the luncheon.
“He made me think about a lot of stuff,” said sophomore Vandreeka Johnson, “but mainly to be happy with ourselves.”
“I liked the part when he said we shouldn’t send our pictures to our boyfriends, because they could expose us,” said junior Ajane’ Muhammad. “I also liked when he said if a boy disrespects his mother and grandmother, he will disrespect you.”
Also giving the young students words of inspiration and wisdom was CHS Director Gina Washington: “I hope you all feel cared about and valued as a young woman. I don’t care what you’ve been called. Don’t carry it in your spirit. Don’t let anyone define who you are.”
Then the CHS director asked the young women to call out positive adjectives that defined them.
“Hold your head up and say it loud!” Washington instructed the students. Some of the words that rang out: “Beautiful – Intelligent – Awesome.”
Kim Allen, CHS faculty associate, directed the luncheon, which was introduced in 2012. Renee Fussell, SIUE instructor in the Department of Applied Communication Studies, was the first speaker.
Photos:
A group of girls were treated to love, encouragement and lunch. Shown from front to back: De’Kaja Duff, Eyvonne Miller and Desar’a Whitely.
Senior Darrielle Perry receives a rose from luncheon speaker, Dr. Kareem Mateen.
From left to right: CHS Director Gina Washington, Dr. Kareem Mateen and CHS Faculty Associate Kim Allen.
